Dartford Crossing still charges drivers because...

A shocking revelation was made earlier today when it was reported as to the real reason why we’re still paying for using the dartford crossing.

Lakeside!

The crossing was always due to be free of charge after it was fully paid for, around the year 2000, but a spanner was thrown in the works when Bluewater Shopping Centre was built during 1999.

More and more shoppers from Essex began to travel over to Kent to “see what all the faking fuss is abaaat” and thus causing more traffic. 

In fear of riff raff road rage, extra traffic officers and expenditure for wear and tear was included into successive budgets. “Those costs must be paid for” said Ishuda Beenacoppa, from Highways South East. 

After 2002, it was noticed from crossing stats that Essex drivers had reverted to Shopping in Lakeside, as they soon clocked on; that basically its pretty much the same shops except for John Lewis and Marks & Spencers, so they wouldn’t pay the crossing just for that. 

Ever since, the fee has been there more as a deterrent to keep Essex residents from escaping across the border to Kent. 

“The last time so many people from Essex came over in one go, they bloody sank Fantasies!” Said a disgruntled Greenhithe resident. 

Officials are now saying that the crossing will be free, once lakeside shopping centre is not riddled with pikey characters from Snatch, and mothers stop using it as a place to take their kids before grabbing them by one arm and shouting in their faces. 

Come on Essex you can do it!