Ashford Boot Sale Disaster

An Ashford boot sale has sparked outrage with its local poor people after announcing it’s set to charge £0.50p entrance per person. 

“I’m gonna boycott it ain’t i! I ain’t Aving that!” Said one local scallywag. 

Another local living in Ashford originally from Greece, Mr Haven Gotapottapissin told us “It’s a let down, I came here many years ago because I heard the boot sales are free to get in, and the haggling down from 30p items is much fun. Now the fun’s taken away, if we gotta pay, so I’ll be on my way. I just may.”

That’s not the only problem. One customer travelled all the way from West Malling because she heard there was a good Boot Sale going on. 

Emily Richasfuch was flabbergasted not to see a single boot in sight. “It was horrendous. There were poor people everywhere, scrambling and climbing over each other to grab what they could before this Absolute shite actually got bought by another rival. It really upset me to see people actually haggling down a 30p item to 10p. What the fuck?!”

We hope the revenue from the 4th Feb entrance fees will go towards better, clearer advertising so others don’t make the same mistake.